Week Fourteen started just like weeks Four through Thirteen. Vivid dreams and vomiting. I wait for the magic morning void of nausea, and ignore Kim's words as they echo through my head. "You know, sometimes it never goes away" is pushed aside, as I choose to believe that eventually this pregnancy WILL turn unicorns and butterflies. We forgot to add that option in the IUI package, I suppose. The sparkling pregnancy option. Probably wouldn't have cost more than the "anti nausea" pills I'm taking now. They work sometimes and taste like bitter recreational drugs from the Eighties as they dissolve on the tongue. Drew pointed out that maybe the nausea is baby boys attempt to get my attention, and make me stop calling him a her. In the afternoon, between scheduled vomit times, I have a better perspective. If this is my only complaint in this world- pregnancy symptoms- then things are pretty damn good.
So, what is a Snoogle, you ask. Why it's the first pregnancy thing I've ordered. It's this giant C shaped pillow that I'm supposed to wrap myself around when I sleep. While I don't have a belly yet or anything, my uterus is pressing on the veins in my legs when I lay down at night and cutting off circulation. Hence, the Snoogle. I'll post a picture of it when it shows up. Maybe get Drew or Mancha to pose with it, cause it sure as hell won't be me. Honestly, I can't believe how exited I am about this thing. I am leaking out coolness by the minute at this point. I guess I forgot to check for the "cool pregnancy" option, too.
Oh yea, I remember that "cool pregnancy" stuff like...feet the size of hams, not being able to see the microphone cable is still attached to me because my belly's so big (that's forever enshrined on video unfortunately) and threatening to kill Angel and Gary if they brought the video camera even close to me in the hospital room. Oh yea, and begging for the epidural...that was cool!
ReplyDeleteHowever, once you get your head out of the toilet if anyone can do "mommy cool" I know you can!